2011/1/26

 Well what a night. After a long night of staying up again, i feel drained out. Drained out as in my soul just fled my body leaving the outer core do all the job. I hate myself sometimes. Why did I ever do all those things for her to leave. I have been thinking, what if I was different, I wouldn't be doing this right now if I was a bit different. God, It would be nice to show us some heads up before you destroy our lives. I hate this. I hate this so much. I don't even know how I am going to deal about this for the next seven months. I really really hope sometimes, things would go back, and if I could fix that crucial point of my life, I would do whatever it takes, believe it or not, literally whatever, to fix it. I have to go to school now, no sleep, 24 hours, I have been up. Thinking about you.