2011/1/20 VB

  Wow, i staied up all night long. The only reason is because I am still kind of shocked at the fact that I didn't get what I wanted. The blog post I typed last night, yeah, I didn't get what I wanted. I was torn apart, I was devastated. You know what people say, love hurts, and that is true I have to tell you. Sometimes I wish I was just dreaming, so that I can get myself out of this relationship tornado that originated a while back. I hate myself sometimes. I always wonder if it is my fault to cause this. I always wonder what could I have done to prevent it. The answer is, everything. I guess this was all my fault, changing too much, and I guess she changed into a person hating whatever I changed into for her in the first place. It was a very contradicting thing. Sometimes I think, what is love, what is this magical feeling that makes us feel good, or makes us feel sad. Love, what a wonderful thing, I guess I lost mine, and I will find her back a few years later. Time and distance kills, but you know what, I know if we leave off on good terms like this, it may hurt at first breaking up like this, but I know if we leave on such good terms, she will be hoping to come back to me. Well I am still wearing the ring I gave her. I will until I find someone more special. And if your reading this, I will be waiting for you, like we said, three years later where everything could be better. I love you, I miss you. <B